Foxvangen's Pagan

V-78

Foxvangen's Pagan at ten years of age. Her ancient Morgan heritage shows. She is a strong little mare with enough bulk to carry weight.

In life there is a story behind everything. When it comes to horses every horse has it's own story just as humans do. The mere thought of writing Pagan's story brings a chuckle and smile to me. Of all the many horses we have bred over the years she is probably the most aptly named! Or is it perhaps she is the one that most lived up to her name? Either way, her name fits her to a "T".

Pagan was one of the first Foxtrotter foals we produced after we became involved with the breed. She was sired by Wildfire's Socks who also sired Foxvangen's Millenium. Pagan is out of Gambler's Jasmine, our very first Missouri Foxtrotter mare purchased in 1995 and still with us today at the age of 20!

Pagan was Jasmine's second foal. When her time came close to foaling Jasmine was very uncomfortable so I called the vet who lived just around the corner from us and asked her to come palpate Jasmine to see if the foal was in the right position.

She came and palpated Jasmine and said there was no wonder why Jasmine was uncomfortable because the foal had the top of it's head firmly lodged up against Jasmine's pelvis. Jasmine has a sloped pelvis which makes foaling very easy rather like a Jersey cow compared to a Holstein, but she had less abdominal space than she needed for this particular foal.

Pagan was born confident and strong.

Finally the day arrived when Jasmine went into labor. She delivered easily and all looked well. Pagan was a stout filly right from the beginning and was extremely strong. Jasmine and she bonded well but when I began to imprint her, Pagan resisted contact. At first I thought it was perhaps attitude caused from being so confined inside and I suppose in some ways it was. Her behavior was more extreme than that however and it caused me a bit of concern not to mention disappointment that she actually didn't want to be touched.

I sat with them observing for several hours. The filly moved well and nursed without a problem. She was inquisitive and active though not hyper or reactionary. It was a puzzle because she would come right up to me and ask to be loved on, but the instant I touched her she would pin her ears and wheel to kick.

The next day I got hold of her and held her still. I ran my hands all over her body but it was no easy thing to do because she was fighting me with everything she had. Her body was hard as a rock! I could actually FEEL the electricity going through her body and yet the instant I let go of her she would turn to me wanting more contact. It was really strange behavior for certain!

A friend of mine is a holistic healer. I called her and told her what was going on with Pagan. She came over with her infra red machine and we gave Pagan a treatment. Now keep in mind by now this baby was only a day old yet we took her away from her mother and up to the main barn where we could use the machine. She stood still for the treatment and actually relaxed and fell asleep!

After the treatment was over I could touch her without her tensing and getting mad. We took her back to Jasmine but within an hour she was back to pinning her ears and trying to kick or strike if she was touched. She was so adamant about not being touched it was shocking, yet she would come right up to me asking to be petted.

At a day old Pagan was not a happy filly. She could move but seemed cross all the time. Eventually we realized she was in pain.

By the third day I was convinced there was something drastically wrong. We had by then given her three treatments which did bring temporary relief but within an hour or so she was right back to being tense and tight muscled.

Finally I called our equine chiropractor. Equine chiropractic was in it's infancy at that time but this fellow had studied and apprenticed for three years with the man who invented the technique. He was extremely good with horses and could see things in them that until then I'd never paid attention to. ( I do now!)

This man, Mark, lived on the other side of the mountains from us, about a 2 1/2 hour drive. But he came. He took one look at Pagan and whistled. He said " her spine is jammed, we will have to get hold of her.".

Well that was easier said than done because by now Pagan was nearly a week old and had mastered evasion. If we did get our hands on her she would violently resist and break free. Finally we cornered her in the stall with Jasmine outside looking over the door. Mark and I held her until she quieted and then he began to massage her. At first Pagan fought but then she began to relax. Mark has a lovely way of touching them that seems to calm even the most radical of them.

He got her relaxed and then began to adjust her. With each adjustment Pagan relaxed more and more until I thought she was just going to melt into a puddle on the floor!

When Mark was finished with the adjustments he explained that by Pagan being jammed up against Jasmine's pelvis like that she had actually jammed her spine as she grew. She must have been in that position for some time! Her entire spine from the Axis down to the end of her tail was jammed. He had also adjusted her shoulders, hips and pelvis.

After that Pagan was docile as a little pup. She adored being touched, petted and massaged. In fact she became almost a pest she wanted to be touched so much!

Mark stayed over that night and in the morning checked Pagan again. She required only a minor adjustment that time. After that she was just fine and never again was difficult to handle!

Pagan became a loving, soft natured filly as soon as the chiropractor adjusted her jammed spine!

Right from her first breath Pagan was sure of herself. She was never in the least bit timid or easily frightened. Sometimes I think perhaps I should have named her something else because from birth she seemed to live up to her name. She really WAS a little Pagan!

She had personality to burn from birth but she was constantly devising ways to get into mischief! She gave Jasmine a merry chase for certain! She was not a demanding foal and she was not a pesky type of foal. Pagan simply knew who she was and what she wanted from life. I had never seen a newborn foal of any breed with so much self confidence. She was utterly fearless.

Pagan was born in October which is a cold, wet month in Washington. The weather did not daunt Pagan a bit. She grew a very thick, woolly coat but on the coldest days or windy days we also blanketed her.

Curious and friendly, Pagan would leave her mother to seek attention.

By one week of age she had the confidence and independence of a much older horse. It was as if she was an old horse in a baby body. She was remarkably willing to learn and was happy to do whatever was asked of her. Pagan never resisted anything we attempted with her. Yet when she was on her own, she would challenge life!

In the pasture Pagan was a pest. It was not that she did anything particularly wrong but she refused to learn herd behavior. When the other mares would pin their ears and warn Pagan off, Pagan would just quietly stand there and stare at them. She was not to be intimidated. She would stand perfectly relaxed and stationary defying the mares to do anything about it! The mares would get so angry with her they would pin their ears and show their teeth. When that didn't work they would shake their heads violently at her and then walk away!

Such confidence in a grown horse can be an asset but in a young foal it can be a problem because they seem to have no boundaries. Pagan was always off exploring by herself or she would take one of the other foals with her. Her favorite buddy was Millenium. I think that is because she could boss Millie around easily. The two of them were always getting into something!

At two weeks Pagan was confident, strong and totally in charge of herself.

At two weeks of age, Pagan already had the stance of a confident, mature horse. She was never aggressive and she was never deliberately bad. She simply had an avid curiosity toward life that often got her and whoever was with her at the moment into trouble.

She was a fun filly all in all but she certainly kept us on our toes. It seemed as if her goal in life was to keep us hopping. We began training her in earnest simply to give her something to do since she seemed so bored just being a baby!

By the age of two weeks she would lead away from her mother, load in the trailer, walk in, on, over anything we put in front of her. She stood for the farrier and she would shake hands, pick her feet up on voice command, side pass, back up, go forward on voice command.

At a month of age Pagan loved to run with her mother as they did laps of their turn out

Jasmine seemed to understand that Pagan needed something to do. Several times a day she would romp with Pagan. The two of them played games also. This photo of them is one of my favorites. Pagan was a month old here and was just loving having a play day with her mother.

I would not say that either Jasmine or Pagan is particularly fast when it comes to running. They enjoyed running but mostly they enjoyed gaiting.Jasmine can speed rack faster than she can gallop! When she played, Jasmine would foxtrot and Pagan would rack beside her. Jasmine is pretty fast at the foxtrot so Pagan HAD to rack to keep up, but if Jasmine flat walked, Pagan would foxtrot.

Each day the pair spent time, several times a day, just delighting in motion by making laps of the pasture. Sometimes the other horses would join in until there was just one big mob all out there doing laps.

When Jasmine foxtrotted, Pagan would rack. When Jasmine flat walked, Pagan foxtrotted.

Pagan was such an amiable filly it was hard not to love her. When the holidays rolled around that year we decided to make Pagan our Christmas card horse. We bought a bright new halter and lead and a set of reindeer antlers which she thought were really cool. Whatever we wanted to do with her she gamely accepted, participating with interest and cooperation.

Pagan was game for any silly nonsense we put her to. Here she was posing for our Christmas card.

At the time we only had a 5+ acre farm. It was laid out well and we did have some space for the horses to romp and run but it was not long before Pagan had learned ever corner, twig and rock on the place. We had a small pond and a seasonal creek running through the property which she played in without any compunction at all much to the chagrin of her mother.

Pagan acting as a reindeer was quite a hit with the children in my daycare center.

Pagan was Miss Personality for certain. She loved attention and thrived on it the more she got even though she never demanded it or got pushy in the least. She simply had a great love of life and felt everything in it was there specifically for her use!

Things went very smooth and well until Pagan was weaned. She was the most affectionate and sweet natured filly we had ever seen. She was more like a pocket pet really. BUT that was while Jasmine was still around to help keep her out of mischief!

We weaned Pagan and Millenium together. We always try to wean pairs or a group so one youngster isn't lonely and upset. Pagan was not the least upset to be weaned and took the lead in her group readily. She and Millenium shared a stall and paddock but in the daytime they shared a turn out with the other foals until they had been off the mares long enough the mares wouldn't let them nurse.

Pagan got bored! She would find things to do to entertain herself. One morning I walked into the barn to find she and Millenium had gotten through the gate to the feed room and helped themselves to the Calf Manna.

They got to stand in a cold creek for that little adventure so their feet didn't get hot. Pagan walked into the frigid water and stood without complaint until I told her she could get out!

The next time there was a problem I found Pagan laying on the floor of her stall with her legs through the gate but the gate was laying on top of her. I still don't know how she managed that one but she was very patient and laid still while I got her out of it.

Pagan was so full of mischief at 8 months she just couldn't hide it! She was a prankster from day one!

She was the PERFECT picture of innocence yet if there was anything she could find to get into she did. There wasn't a gate or door on the property she couldn't open and there was no place she couldn't find her way into or out of! She was just such a mischievous little imp!

One day when she was close to a year old we had guests at the farm. Horsey people there to look at horses and talk and visit. We had a large picnic table sitting in the middle of the ring that the driveway made. We used that ring for training but also as the driveway and the center was a very large oval of grass. So the picnic table was on the grass in front of the stall barns and just out front of the house. I had the front gate closed and some of the horses were out gleaning along the edges for whatever grass they could find.

Often times the horses would come hang their heads over our shoulders and join in the conversation but this time we had sent them on their way so we could talk and drink Iced Tea without their help! I was listening to my guests talk but at the same time had my eye on the youngsters in the yard.

Pagan was across the yard in front of Ribbon's stall eating the grass along the front of the building. Millenium as usual was right next to her. As I watched, however, Pagan's head came up. Both fillies were wearing fly masks as the face flies were particularly bad right then.

Pagan turned around and approached me in a straight line. She had her head lowered as she usually did when she would come to me in a submissive way. She came right up to me and put her face in front of me with her nose on my leg where I was sitting. She is a very intelligent horse so I thought she was asking for me to open her mask to let a fly out. Sometimes they would crawl up the face and get in under the masks.

I unlatched her mask and my gosh, she had ripped open her face from the eye lid nearly to the ear. The cut was so clean it looked like a scalpel cut and included the eye lid. Whatever had done it, never even enlarged any of the holes in the mesh of the mask yet it cut her from eyelid to ear! It took 15 stitches to close her up yet she remained perfectly calm and just came to me asking for help.

At 8 months Pagan's innocent little face endeared her to everyone she met.

When Pagan turned a year old she graduated up to the mare pasture because she lorded it over the weanlings too much. She ignored warnings from the mares and did whatever she pleased and not one mare would take after her. They would all shake their heads and walk off as if saying "this child is hopeless". Pagan didn't care at all. At the time I felt she was a natural born alpha and would someday likely rule the herd. She was utterly fearless even when it was a group of mares trying to scold her. She simply stared them down and ignored them.

It may be that she was so calm and relaxed about it that they didn't feel the need to become defensive. It may be that because she showed no fear they really didn't know what to do with her since they couldn't intimidate her. For whatever reasons, Pagan's self confidence continued to grow to a point where she thought she could govern me as well.

By time she was a yearling she was rather full of herself. One day she tried to get her way with me and was actually for the first time showing aggression. With me that is a deal breaker. ANY horse that shows aggressive behavior in my realm is soon going to know clearly they made a mistake.

Pagan and I visited the round pen. Once in the round pen she again decided to have her own way but when I asked her to do something she didn't want to do, she came at me. BAD mistake and make no bones about that! We had a few choice words so to speak and in the end Pagan was a humble love puppy again.

From that day to this that was the only time Pagan ever offered to challenge me or any other human so far as I am aware. She learned in short order that her game was not on and never once offered to try a second time.

Eventually Pagan paired up with Molly, our supreme alpha mare. Molly probably figured it was better to have Pagan with her where she could keep an eye on her rather than having her out getting into mischief!

At a year Pagan still had part of her foal hair that stubbornly refused to shed. After a bath there was still long hair hanging from her belly even though she had been faithfully wormed.

It was about that time when we moved to Arkansas. We took 5 mare/foal pairs Molly & Fox, Jasmine & Aysha, Casey & Paisley, Ribbon & Braveheart, Haze &Chancellor with us as well as Pagan and Millenium. We had sent Toy Boy down earlier. The transporter was full to brimming so they drove straight through.

The horses left Monroe, Washington in 69 degree weather. Two days later they were in sunny Arkansas where the temperature was 108 with high humidity! Pagan took the heat well and without complaint. She seemed to really enjoy her new situation with a large pasture full of grass and lots of space to run and play in.

We got so busy building our farm that in truth the horses got little attention that summer. It was terribly hot and absolutely miserable weather to be working but our work had to be done. Carl was driving long haul ..so much of the building and work of the farm was left to me to do or supervise.

In late September Carl was home for four days break. He was looking out the window to the back field one day and commented to me that Pagan had been standing in the same place for quite some time. Right away I took a look. I KNEW something was wrong! Pagan simply does not stand in one place long at all and there she was standing in the hot sun, next to the fence when there was shade and grass elsewhere. I ran out the back door and across the yard to see why.

At 16 months Pagan had filled out quite a bit and was beginning to look more mature.

Half way across the yard my heart leapt into my throat. Pagan was tangled in the fence! Our fences are all high tensil, hot wire fences. We have had them for years and never had an injury. Yet here was Pagan hung in the fence with the hot wire wrapped totally around her leg. Just how long she had been like that is anyone's guess but she was in a real bad way. Yet she was not fighting and she was not making a fuss. She was simply waiting for me to come help.

Yelling at Carl to kill the electricity to the fence I dashed for the shed for the bolt cutters. We had rented a portable garage to use until we could construct our own. It was sitting only a few dozen yards from where Pagan was anchored to the fence.

In the heat it was quite a sprint for me but I made it and got Pagan cut out of the wire. The wire had peeled her leg from hock to fetlock clear down to the bone. The bone was exposed all down the front and sides of her leg.

As if that was not bad enough she also had colic! I suspect Pagan ate the little acorns that fall from one of the shade trees in that corner of the pasture. She got a belly ache and rolled, getting her leg through the wire. In the act of getting up the wire got wrapped around her leg. The wire is stretched so tight I still puzzle how she got enough give for it to go around her leg like that but it was so tightly wrapped around her leg it had to be pulled out of the leg.

We called the only local vet in the county. He was a very nice man who came right away...but. His idea for treating has not been seen on the west coast at least since 1950! He stitched the leg by pulling the skin back up the leg and putting just 4 big stitches in it. THEN he put a cast on the leg and poured half a gallon of aloe vera juice in the cast! EEGADS! He was about to leave when I asked if he was not going to give her something for the colic! He said. "Just turn her out she will be ok". HA! I don't think so!

By that time Pagan was noticeably dehydrated. It was a humid 108 degrees outside. Pagan was not going to "just get over it". She was in so much pain from the colic she could hardly lift her head. Her leg was a mess and it was still so hot out you could fry eggs on the sidewalk.

In desperation I hit the internet trying to locate another vet within driving distance. The nearest one was in West Plains, Missouri...60 miles north of us. I called and they said to bring her right up

At two Pagan was developing into a nice little mare. Then disaster struck.

Into the trailer went Pagan, bless her soul. I had no idea if she would even be on her feet when we got there but it was her only hope and I had to give it to her.

We got to West Plains in good time even though it is a long trip on country roads that are very twisty for the most part. The vet was ready and waiting for us. When we took Pagan out of the trailer he calmly said "don't worry it looks worse than it is" Somehow that didn't help my worried mind much.

Right away they gave Pagan some IV fluids and Banamine. Then he oiled her. When he was done treating her colic and we were waiting for the medications to take affect he chuckled and asked me who had treated her leg. I explained to him we were new to the area and had simply called the ONLY vet in our area.

He said he understood but if the leg began to swell over the cast we were going to have to cut the cast off the leg. When and if that happened the leg would have to be tended because it likely would not heal otherwise.

I asked him why he didn't just take the silly cast off and look at the leg right then since it's a 120 mile round trip for us to make another trip! But he said to go ahead and see if what was already done would work. If not he was always there to help.

Pagan's injury caused her to lose condition and slowed her development.

The next morning Pagan's leg was swollen up over the top of the cast. We cut it off and the leg virtually exploded the skin off the bone. It was an ugly mess.

I cleaned her up with Saline and wrapped the leg before loading her up once again to head for West Plains. When we got there the vet complimented my bandaging job and asked how I'd managed to get it done, surely the horse would be fractious? But he soon learned that my horses are easy to work with even in times when they are in pain.

Pagan stood stock still while he cut the dead skin off her leg. It was a rather gruesome task but the leg had to be cleaned up in order to heal. With the bone exposed so badly there is concern it will dry out. SO the bone had to be packed with saline soaked gauze before the leg could be bandaged. Then the entire bandage had to be wrapped in vet wrap and a certain method used in order to keep the bandage from slipping back down the leg.

The vet was very good about showing me exactly what was needed because it was going to take months for the leg to granulate in and grow skin over it. Meantime it would need dressing ever two to three days. It was going to be a very long healing process. All the same he assured me it would heal and likely not even leave a bad scar.

We went home with a bundle of medications, bandaging materials and a very light pocket book. But Pagan was at least comfortable and on her way toward healing

.

After a bout with corn poisoning, a serious leg injury, and a serious infection Pagan was allowed out for the first time. She was gaunt, under developed and out of balance yet she was mighty happy to be out of her stall for the first time in nearly a year!

We had not been in Arkansas long enough to have our barn built as yet so we needed to find a place to box her up for a couple weeks until the leg stabilized. My sister in law and brother in law had moved to Arkansas to be close to us. They bought the land next to ours. Because he was already retired they had moved two months before we did and had their barn up. So they graciously offered us a stall.

Pagan was installed in their barn where I'd go twice a day to care for her. She was so good about standing still for me to remove her bandage, cleanse the wound and rewrap her that I didn't even have to halter her! She would just stand there patiently waiting for me to finish. Now keep in mind this is not a lazy horse and she is not a cold blood. She is simply so intelligent she knew I was helping her and did her best to cooperate.

Several weeks into the healing process I went to redress Pagan's wound. That morning for some reason she was not happy to have me messing with her leg. She repeatedly look her leg away from me and refused to stand still. At first I thought she was simply getting tired of being stalled and was bored with having the leg cleansed and dressed every third day.

With so much granulation to be done the wound was not to be disturbed any more frequently because to do so would be to slow the healing process. But this morning Pagan was simply no cooperating and clearly did not want me to handle her leg.

After a few corrections she finally gave in and stood quietly for me to finish my job. Three days later however, it was a different story! Pagan simply was not about to allow me to dress her leg without a fight. It was clearly out of her character to act like that. It took a while to get the dressing off her leg and this time she had a halter and lead on with Jan holding her while I worked! It was the first time in all the weeks that she had even had a halter on!!

Once the dressing was off however, I could see there was a problem. The leg was swollen and hot. Her leg looked angry and I'm quite sure was painful. It was a struggle to get her bandaged but as soon as she was finished I went to the phone to call the vet in West Plains. He advised I bring her back up for a check up.

It took me a while to get ready for the trip because there were other chores to be done, the trailer to be hooked up and brought over to Jan's and myself to get ready. Finally we were ready to leave. Pagan was not happy about walking or loading...totally not her style. She did finally load and it wasn't as if she was fighting not to load, she was simply having difficulty with her leg.

Once in West Plains the vet had to tranquilize her in order to get that leg looked at! The trip had somehow aggravated the leg and she was not wanting to stand down on her foot. What was going on!!!

Pagan's leg was left with unsightly scarring but was sound and strong for which we were thankful.

The vet declared the wound was healing properly. He felt there was something else going on. He looked closely at the leg and discovered that under Pagan's fetlock where her hair is quite long and thick due to winter coat, were several more cuts! He was all apologetic because he had failed to shave the whole leg when we had first brought Pagan to him!

Once the leg was shaved and washed it revealed some very ugly wire cuts on and under the ankle and pastern. These had become infected and were the cause of her discomfort and the swelling that by now included the whole leg up to the hock!

The wounds were opened to drain and so they could be cleaned. Then a different type of bandage was applied and Pagan was put back on antibiotics once again! In all actuality those wounds were the more serious injuries she had. They were cuts that went deep and had potential to infect tendons!

Fortunately those cuts healed very quickly once they were treated. One day her leg was swollen and angry and the cuts oozing with infection and three days later they were already nearly healed! As soon as the infection abated the leg was no longer so painful. Pagan went right back to her usual, stoic self suffering wound dressing changes without issue. She could not have been a better patient.

Pagan's leg was about half granulated in. It was January and we had suffered a very serious ice storm. The ice was 8 inches thick and had been on the ground for several weeks. It had brought down our hay barn on top of Pagan's dam, Jasmine but fortunately Jasmine had escaped serious injury.

Jan called me one morning really upset. It seems Pagan had gotten out of her stall during the night and had found her way into the grain room. She had consumed half a bucket of corn chops meant for the chickens. As if that mare didn't have enough to deal with! NOW we had to be concerned about colic and founder!

A month after being allowed daily turn out, Pagan had recovered much of her weight and was beginning to develop again.

With so much ice on the ground it was no hardship to stand her out on the ice to keep her feet cool while I monitored her gut noises for sounds of colic. As luck would have it she sailed through that crisis without any illness...at least that is what we thought.

It was about two weeks later I noticed Pagan just seemed a bit off. It was very cold out with wind chill factors ranging between 30 to 50 BELOW zero in a howling constant wind that rocked the barn. The inside temperatures were little warmer but at least afforded shelter from the wind. Dead air space is hard on a horse however. They are not meant to stand so long at a stretch and their circulation slows.

Pagan was decidedly off yet there were no clear cut symptoms one could report to a vet. It was more a gut feeling that all was not quite well with her. Several days later with the weather unimproved I found Pagan shivering on the floor one morning. In a barn so cold and with her being idle so long it is not totally out of the realm of normal to see a young horse get cold but her demeanor was depressed along with it.

I covered Pagan with a wool blanket and put her winter blanket on over it. She soon warmed and was on her feet again but was quite lack luster. Her vital signs were still perfectly normal. Her capillary refill was normal, pulse rate normal, temperature normal. Her gut sounds were normal... there were just no symptoms of illness to report to a vet! Yet in my heart I knew full well that Pagan was not well.

Two days later when I went to dress Pagan's wound I found her shaking in the corner of her stall with her head hanging down between her knees. She hardly acknowledged me as I entered her stall! That she was very ill was not a question but still her vital signs read normal! WHAT was going on?

That day the snow plow came down our road at last. After being ice bound six weeks we were finally able to get out with our four wheel drive vehicle. Someone up above was watching us for certain because on that evening when I went to tend Pagan as I entered the barn I could smell a horrible scent! It smelled rather like ether and was so strong it made my eyes water.

When I saw Pagan I knew we were in serious trouble. She was so ill she could not lift her head. Upon examination I found her heart rate nearly triple what it should be, her respiration's were shallow and rapid, her temperature had spiked to 106! Pagans gums were dark purple, nearly black and the odor was coming from HER.

Pagan at age five was maturing nicely. Please excuse the quality of photos. Poor camera technique is my fault.

As quickly as possible we got the trailer hooked up and carefully brought into Jan's barn area. Wobbly on her legs we loaded Pagan for the trip once again to West Plains. I had spoken with the vet who told me his assistant would be there to greet us when we arrived. It would be at least 9pm by time we could get there. As soon as Pagan was examined the assistant would call him and let him know so he could decide a course of treatment.

When we arrived at the vets office we found the assistant was a younger woman vet. She was doing her apprentice time there I suppose but she clearly was not listening to me as I explained how this had developed in Pagan. She was bent on treating her for colic! Pagan did not have colic!

Finally I got through to her that this was not a case of colic, it was something far worse but we didn't know just what!! She examined Pagan and said "this mare is seriously ill, she will not be going home tonight! We will need to keep her here so you may as well just go home and we will call you!" Those words were not what I really wanted to hear and I truly did not want to leave Pagan in the hands of an inexperienced vet. I asked to speak to the regular vet.

After a conversation by phone with him he said he really didn't know what we were dealing with but for now they would put Pagan on IV fluids and medication to help stabilize her while they figured out just what it was we were treating. He said he was hitting his vet books looking for her symptoms and would call me just as soon as he found out.

Reluctantly we left for the long icy trip home. It was now 12am in the morning! Bless Carl's heart for driving with me. He knew I was really upset and didn't need to be out on the ice in such a condition.

By 2am we had made it home. I hit the internet lists I frequent asking if anyone had seen symptoms such as Pagans and what they meant. Within a few minutes I had replies from several people on the lists who are vet assistants and techs. CORN POISONING was the universal diagnosis...something I had never heard of. Where we come from horses are not fed corn so we had never heard of that terrible ailment.

Just as I went to pick the up phone to call the vet it rang! The vet was on the line. CORN POISONING he shouted, I just found it in my book! At the stage Pagan was in it is often called the "blind staggers". When horses get that bad they rarely survive but Pagan was a fighter. He said she had not given up so he wanted to give her a chance. WE concurred. The real issue is kidney failure and liver failure as the body works over time to rid itself of the toxins caused by a mold that comes on corn in the field before harvest. They had to flush Pagan's system and put her on mega antibiotics. It was going to be a long haul.

Pagan was pregnant at age six but had matured into a nice mare.

Pagan went 11 straight days without one bite of food by mouth and less than a gallon of water by mouth per day. She wasted away to a wraith right before our eyes. She was so sick she was just a limp, depressed shadow of herself.

Besides that, all the new tissue that had grown on her leg turned black and died! So all that had to be cut off her leg again bringing us back to square one on healing the leg!

Twelve days after we took Pagan to the clinic the vet called and said it was time for Pagan to try to eat but she refused food from them. He felt since my horses are so close to me, if I came and coaxed her perhaps she would begin to eat.

Dropping everything I raced for West Plains. Along the way I stopped at a grocery store and bought a dozen jars of baby food carrots. Pagan loved carrots so I thought she might eat a mush with them. We took regular carrots as well just in case she wanted to chew.

Entering the clinic barn Pagan nickered to me. It was the first sign of interest she had shown in two weeks!!! Tears were streaming down my face when I saw how emaciated she had become. My poor little girl was a walking skeleton!

I hugged her and stroked her sweet face and then offered her the babyfood carrots on my palm. She lapped them up hungrily! I gave her some more, she ate that as well. Soon she had eaten all the jars of babyfood. She was very tired so we let her rest.

An hour later when I went in her stall which still felt like a refrigerator, I offered Pagan some Bermuda grass hay from home. It is very soft and sweet and was quite green. It was lovely third cutting hay. She nibbled on a handful and seemed to chew it like bubble gum. Finally she swallowed and took another little nibble. After all it had been two weeks since she had used her jaws and teeth to eat anything, she was a little stiff!

In the end she ate perhaps a quarter flake of hay, one little handful at a time. It took nearly all afternoon to get it into her but at least she had some solid food in her stomach. I hugged her and petted her and talked quietly with her and then I had to leave. I had other horses at home needing to be fed and cared for as well. It was the middle of our Ozark winter which can be very brutal so the horses needed caring for.

The next day when I made the trip to West Plains, Pagan seemed brighter. She welcomed me with her head up and her eye looked brighter. She dove into her hay with gusto! Things were looking up! The vet said if she ate well during the night we could take her home the next day! Pagan was going to live!!!!!

Her leg was cleaned and all the tissue plus some extra skin were removed. If the skin edges are not pink then it is dead and will not grow so now her leg wound was even larger than it had been initially! We had to start all over again!

It was summer before the leg finally granulated in completely. The skin was growing nicely over the new tissue. We had only one small area of proud flesh that had been necessary to trim away. Gradually, 1/8 inch at a time the skin closed over the wound until we had only about a quarter sized wound remaining. New hair was growing on the leg and it came in sorrel, not white!

Because she had so many set backs and reinjuries to the leg it scarred much more than it would have but at least she had a leg!!!

Pagan became a great mother and milks like a cow. She is protective but not overly so of her foals and they all seem to be born with her confidence without her mischievous nature!

Because Pagan's leg was scarred rather badly from her ordeal we determined to use her as a brood mare when she matured. No need to ride a scarred horse when we had so many unscarred ones needing to be ridden.

Mated to Dan'Na's Magni, Pagan produced a palomino Tobiano filly we named Foxvangen's Ozark Firefly. She was as precocious as her dam and just as fun to be around. Firefly was bright gold and white right from birth!

Firefly sold as a long weanling and was shipped to Pennsylvania. Her owner sent us photos of her as a yearling but later she was sold to Florida when her owner decided to go into mini breeding. We lost track of Firefly at age 2. At this time she would be coming six.

Firefly as a long yearling was solid and cute.

We bred Pagan again to Magni. This time she produced a palomino colt we called, Foxvangen's Griffin. Griffin was so like Pagan in his sane brain and high intelligence. He was intuitive and responsive. An old horse in a baby body.

Griffin was an old horse in a baby body his mind was so mature.

He was a stout little boy wise far beyond his years and extremely easy to work with. He sold as a yearling to the east coast as well. Last we heard he is in Pennsylvania where he is cherished and used as a trail horse. His original owner raised him, started him under saddle and really loved him but found he was too stout for her arthritic hip to cope with.

Griffin grew into a dappled palomino. He is solid and strong with a smooth ride.

Pagan was once again taken to Magni and this time produced another palomino Tobiano filly we named Foxvangen's Bracken. Bracken was a self assured filly with a gentle nature. She was full of go but not the least bit hyper. Like all of Pagan's offspring she was confident and took right to the saddle when she was mature. She sold as a three year old and now resides in Alabama where she will also be part of a breeding program for Foxtrotter ponies.

Bracken was born dark gold and white.

Like her sister, Bracken was born dark gold and white. She has wonderful bone and joints and a very docile nature. She has more white on her than Firefly but they are quite similar in conformation, style and action.

At three Bracken was a nice young mare with a sweet nature.

Pagan was given some time off before being asked to produce another foal. During that time a fellow came along that was looking for some Foundation bred Foxtrotters with which to start a breeding program. He was interested in seeing all our horses so we went to the mare pasture.

In all the years of her life, Pagan has always been a woman's horse. She never has been handled much by men so perhaps that is a natural thing. This day, however, as soon as this man entered the field, Pagan came all the way up the field, past me and right to him! Instantly they were equally smitten! I'd not seen the like of that before with her or any other horse. Pagan simply would not leave him alone and he was perfectly happy with that!

In the end he purchased Pagan. . He took her and several others to West Virginia. We missed Pagan but knew she would be happy with her new owner. How could she not?

Before taking her to the east coast the new owner wanted Pagan started under saddle. We sent her to a couple in Willow Springs, Missouri for training and she took to it like a duck to water! Pagan was a mature mare but the new challenge was interesting to her. She went right to the trail without a backward glance. She is not spooky and looks forward to going new places.

Her natural flat walk and foxtrot just came out and she went to work. Her trainer claims she has a good head nod and rhythm that would take her to placing in the show ring! We are not show people and don't intend to be, but it is gratifying to know this hard luck mare has the class and ability all the same.

Pagan had a natural flat walk as soon as she went under saddle.

After only 60 days of training, Pagan takes the trails and will go wherever she is asked without a fuss. She will go out alone or in a group. She can lead or follow. The only real issue with her was in the beginning when her natural alpha nature caused her to want to control any other horse near her. She quickly learned that was not on however and settled in to learning to be a trail horse.

Pagan can flat walk, foxtrot, running walk and I'm certain if asked she would rack. She has a nice rocking horse canter and is going to develop into a very good riding mount.

Pagan's natural foxtrot includes a head nod and a tail bob with true "chunk of meat and two potatoes" rhythm.

Life has many twists however. Pagan's owner worked for the government in Washington D.C. A year or so after he purchased Pagan, he was transferred over seas for at least a 2 year assignment. Sadly he asked if we could care for the horses and place them in new homes. He was not at all certain how long he would be off shore. We placed the horses for him but we bought Pagan back and are very happy to have her.

We gave Pagan some time off but in 2010 she will again go under saddle. I plan to ride her myself for the year and then in the fall will likely breed her to Solaris. She is one fun horse and still gets up to mischief!

Pagan is highly intelligent. She is also very inquisitive. When we hung the gate on her paddock I had the men hang is low enough that it sort of drags on the ground. When latched I had to put my foot on the bottom rung and push down to relieve the tension on the chain enough to unlatch it. THAT would prevent most horses from being able to open the gate because it require a three-part complex action!

Pagan is so smart she watched me do that gate only one time and then calmly walked over, put her foot on the lower rung, pushed down and then unlatched the gate pretty as you please!

To keep her in we then put a snap on the chain. It was a large brass snap the sort that one end is meant to crimp on a chain link only we had not done that. It was such a big, strong snap we felt it was a safe one because it would be too difficult for her to unlock.

At maturity Pagan has a clean, lovely head that shows her intelligence and breeding.

One day I looked out the kitchen window toward Pagan's paddock. She was standing in the outer corner of her paddock which struck me as an odd place for her to be. I was busy and went along with my work but a few minutes later I looked again and Pagan was still in the same place and it seemed her posture was odd. She was standing with her head low and had not moved for some time!

When I went to investigate there was Pagan sort of wedged between the half open gate and her fence. She was standing in the V made by the gate and fence with her head down about knee level. She didn't lift her head when I approached but she did nicker to me.

From the look of things she had been standing there some time. There were several dung piles there and it was clear she had been standing in that position for several hours. Closer inspection showed the reason! Pagan in the act of unsnapping her gate had hooked her mouth with the hook end of the snap! As large as it is, she had managed to get it hooked inside her cheek!!!

That hook is as big around as my little finger with a muted point on the end. It makes a "C". Pagan had gotten that inside her cheek and it had hooked around with the tip protruding out inside her mouth like a fish on a hook!

In typical Pagan fashion, she stood stock still while I unhooked the thing from inside her mouth. It didn't tear or rip through her cheek fortunately! What a horse! I flushed her mouth out with salt water twice a day for three days and it healed.

In the pasture Pagan can be a bully to any horse she deems to be weak. She does not fight or kick but she will charge and bite a horse if it crowds her space. Most of the mares ignore her and she has only challenged Molly's authority once...much as she did mine.

Molly and Pagan when Pagan was 16 months. Molly tolerated her but did not brook any insubordination from her as a mare.

It happened after she weaned Firefly. Pagan had been away from the herd during her lactation. We keep the mare/foal pairs separate. After Firefly was weaned we turned Pagan back out with the mature mares. At the time they were all contentedly eating at a round bale. Molly was standing back to Pagan as Pagan came up to the group. There was plenty of space for Pagan to nose into the bale but instead of finding a space for herself she approached Molly. That was her FIRST mistake. Instead of picking on a less dominant mare to move or taking an empty space, Pagan decided to oust Molly. THAT was her second mistake.

She walked up to Molly and pinned her ears. Molly is a very tolerant alpha and does not fight needlessly. But she will brook no disorder or insubordination from any of her herd. When Pagan came up to her with her ears pinned Molly didn't even pick her head up from the round bale. She simply let fly with both hind feet connecting with Pagan so fast she never saw it coming. It is the first and only time I ever have seen Molly kick without first warning. But kick she did that day and she sent Pagan flying!

The blow lifted Pagan clear off the ground and sent her sailing back several feet. She landed on her side with a big thud sound. Molly kept on eating while Pagan caught her breath. When she got up she quietly found a space between other mares and without a fuss started eating. That was the first ...and the last.. time Pagan ever challenged Molly.

NO telling what comes next. She is a walking disaster magnet but we love her to bits. She is now sharing a pasture with a large run in with her mother and Pharaoh. She seems to do better with more space to move...

At ten years of age Pagan had finally grown into a well balanced, solid mare. She stands 14.2 hands and weighs right at 1,000 pounds. For all her ups and downs in life she remains very self confident, calm and easy going.

Watch for updates to Pagan and the other's pages.

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